Many men feel pressured by Valentine’s Day. They don’t like being expected to do something romantic for their girlfriend or wife on an arbitrary date on the calendar. They are not comfortable when their partner drops suggestions in early February on which flowers or restaurant he prefers, and they wince when he talks about a friend’s husband who has the top 1 on the list of the most romantic men on Valentine’s Day.
Some men criticize the absurd consumerism of February 14 or argue that Valentine’s Day in our culture is for new couples who need to affirm their relationship, and they think that longer-term couples no longer need those cheesy gestures. None of this works, of course. Most women, even when they intellectually agree with these arguments against Valentine’s Day, want their boyfriend or husband to have a special detail for them on the Day of Love. Women who read this blog, do you agree?
What usually happens friends, is that the disappointment and the loss of the opportunity to connect with our partners, is greater than the benefits of maintaining our freedom to be spontaneously romantic when we remember.
Not wanting to be prosecuted for their partner’s expectations, other men, especially husbands, look for something symbolic at the last minute: like a typical greeting card and a box of chocolates.
A good friend, who has been married for more than 20 years, told me that he had already learned his lesson. He used to be careless with this day, until he realized the disappointment it caused in the person he loves the most. For several years now, he has been marking the date on his calendar and making a reservation well in advance at his wife’s favorite restaurant. He looks forward to sharing a special night with her, and he always surprises her with a different gift.
At the beginning of January he contacted me because he wants to give him a original love gift to his wife. She is a yoga teacher, and he wants to gift her a jewel that symbolizes his love for yoga. With all my love, I have set to work to design a silver pendant, with the silhouette of his wife practicing a Yoga posture, personalized with her name and the date of this coming 14th of April. February.
The example of my friend, has made me think that cultural rituals such as Valentine’s Day, give us opportunities to do good things that we could do any other day of the year, but that generally we do not do. We can honor our mother 365 days a year, but it’s not so bad to have a day when we all remember to do something special for her. We can have family gatherings at any time of the year, but Christmas Eve is a wonderful occasion to share in harmony with our loved ones, thanks to cultural and religious traditions. Perhaps there is nothing wrong with putting a bit of “forced spontaneity” to bring out the most romantic Romeo in all of us. What do you think?
If this coming February 14 you want to excite your partner with an unforgettable gift, I invite you to visit this page: Gifts of Love and discover what we can do for that very important person in your life.
A big hug for all the lovers of this blog 🙂